Wonder

Hmmm. I wonder how many of us actually didn't pass up thesis 1 and what' s running on their mind.

And I just realized that a lot of decision I have made, is really decided upon influences by others, in an indirect and unintentional way.

And I also realized that I identify certain people, to a small degree, as someone I quite familiar with.

And I also realized, friends around me are quite concern about my thesis. Ignoring what their concern are, I'm more interested how I actually spread it out and make it seems like a concern for me which eventually gain the concern of others. I may have fail the test of being not punctual, but i guess i pass some test that i unconsciously gave to myself, that i don't even know the tests are, just feeling satisfied with the result.

You may argue it is an excuse, or in fact, it may really was one.

but you will never know, because i don't think you live your life my way,

which never make your argument valid enough for me,

because simply, you aint me, and i also not wiling to be like you,

Cz, it makes me feel unique that way, a unique creature with bloody flesh covered in stretching skin and with a thinking head, plugging on top of it. :)

Pechaa Kuchaa

Pechaa Kuchaa which means "chit-chat" is originated from Japan where every speaker have to speaks for 20 seconds on each slide for 20 slides in total.

I thought it not gonna be that fun as to what RM10 ticket can actually do.

I was way too wrong in making such guess.

This event worth much more than RM10 actually does.

In fact, I even doubt that they might have hidden charges somewhere later on.

because it just seems so impossible that i get this kind of performances with only RM 10!

I have to say that all the presenters which comprise of lecturers and students, they are outrageously awesome in their speech.

they stimulate my brain. make me feel that my brain was so long in getting it own sweet sleep, and just wakes up and wave hands saying hi to me.

talented people are everywhere. i was really impressed by their performances.

i even hold my bladder, worry i miss any good pieces of cake.

i can't stop laughing and i can still feel cramping feeling over my cheek that resulted from over laughing.

It was really a great success from the organizing teams. they did a awesome job!

I would go for another one next year definitely.

And you should too!

excuses

no more excuses for myself i think.

i had it enough.

regret on things that i haven't done.

but i think keep on complaining without any further move,

there will be more coming out.

i still young.

don't care whether tomorrow the world gonna end.

i still have my day.

i still have my flow.

fatigue but content

i am feeling fatigue.

Aches all over my body, especially my left shoulder,

the side effect after carrying my BIG laptop around UNI.

Have not really gone into quality sleep lately,

i guess it was the bed that produce such misery on me,

or it was the stress that accumulated due to procrastination.

I personally like best to sleep in my dadi's room,

or my own room in Sri Sinar.

Reason of favoritism?

Simple, i can be naked in either room.

and yes!

the quality of the bed is high too!

not missing the day that i am able to sleep till the sun burnt my butt.

rather, i miss the days where i can woke up early in the morning

and went for a jog or few basketball games.

Guess I am moving into middle adulthood as adolescences

are those who loves night life but it no longer apply to me.

it is still fresh in memory that how i spent endless night playing DotA

and ended up woke up 3 or 4pm afternoon the next day.

trust me, it doesn't feel good at all!

and Trust me again, sweat in the morning makes you feel good better than having sex!

(for those who got no chance to have one).

shall back to the work, see you in real soon!

Growth - basketball

I can feel the growth in me.

two particular growth to point out today.

the person besides you, most of the time, is the one who see the true picture of you.

take their point, and you can see the amazing change in you.

two person voice out my weakness while playing basketball,

one is my girl friend, another one is a totally stranger that it was the first time we met.

my girl friend wonders, why I seem like more fatigue and rushed breath than others player who

were in the same game with me.

I thought all this while it was my own physical problem, but soon i realize it wasn't.

it was merely mental. not psychotic that type of mental problem,

but simply mindset and attitude.

i wonder how i change too.

I don't feel as fatigue as i always felt before, and of course, i am glad with such changes.

ah! the stranger!

he told me to be ready and alert always.

I never thought of that, i mean, never thought that would be a problem for me

as I thought: "didn't I ready and alert all the time?"

I was wrong, obviously. Sometimes, i couldn't get the ball my group members passed.

I started aware of that. And he just told me few words, and a simple hand gesture,

it solved my problem.

He raised up his hand to shoulder height, a ready-to-fight-gesture, only the fingers are widespread, a posture as though the ball is coming your way and you ready to catch it

and he told me to maintain this posture all the time.

Wow! It works well!

A coach in life do makes life easier,

it could be your girlfriend, your mother, your brother, your best friends,

or simply a perfect stranger!

So, don't ever reject one's words, until you really think and try it.

if your words work for you or others, why not the others' word work on you as well?

I want to.

I do it because I WANT to do it and not because I should do it.

you never know how much the impact of language can did to your mind.

I did it because I WANT to.

蠢蠢欲动

内心的自己，蠢蠢欲动，感觉像是要开大餐。

想要干一番大事业。

不是赚很多很多的钱，

不是驾大大辆的车，

不是买大大间的屋，

也不是把课里最美的妹子把到手，

更不是把最帅的男同学搞同性。

我想突破自己。

做自己以为自己做不到的事，

做自己一直要的，却迟迟不做的事，

做自己在做的，却不是尽力的事。

突然发现，

三个字就可以做个结论了。

做自己！

:)

更发现，

突破极限就是那么简单的一回事啊！

Baby!

another new life warmly enter our family.

my eldest sister gave born her second baby,

and QFeng is now becomes kor kor already!

wonder will he jealous,

wonder will he get annoys,

wonder whether he treats it as a threat or a gift.

i think i'm worrying too much.

QFeng will becomes a good kor kor, i bet my life on it. *oops.

Fret not, he won't let me down although he is just two years old.

guess few more semesters later, i will be able to take up therapeutic play subject as

i met the requirement. :)

badminton

wow...

playing badminton is more exhaustive that i thought,

in the way that i used so much strength but don't get the result i want.

had a glance to my friend, every move by him seems effortless.

i felt envy of course.

i sensed anxiety pulling my every nerves back, refrain them to connect each other to perform their very best.

my teammate can did nothing to me, seeing each mistakes that one should never has done by me.

i bruised in shame, trying to avoid any further wrongdoing, covered the embarrass with silly laughter.

i can feel the disequilibrium, that i have the great length to be achieved as compared with my friend.

i am happy with the imbalance.

i am happy that i have a long journey to go.

i am happy that i have something to be improved.

though much things in my life are imbalance.

though my previous path never grew flowers and green leaves.

though most of the things in my life still need further refinement.

it did give me further stimulation.

thanks my partner giving me an opportunity to start playing badminton few weeks back.

i do love the exhaustive feeling after continuous matches, and the painful feeling over my right arm's muscles.

but i do concern about the boredom my opponent would get playing with a low standard player.

i do feel how they felt as same thing happens in other area of my life.

give and take,

there must be always someone be able to give then only the other would get.

don't worry, i won't let you all down.

one day, you gonna face another great player that triggers your panic bugs.

Rome aint built in a day, isn't it?

Bruno mars

Love Bruno mars's songs lately.

"Grenade" to be specific, "just the way you are" is the second highlight,

and realized that he got plenty of nice songs too,

"never say you can't" isn't bad too!

and there goes another idol came into my idol list

after Jay Chou, Jam Hsiao and Gary Chaw.

If I have to rank them down,

i guess below would be the arrangement.

1) Jay Chou

2) Jam Hsiao

3) Bruno Mars

4) Gary Chaw

Rationale behind?

let's go through from the first.

1) Jay Chou

His talent is undeniable. Wide range of instruments that he could play and piano would be his best of all. Huge personal bias contributed my favoritism toward him. His songs accompany me first of all the others genre and artists. And once I attached to it, it never seems that i tend to listen other people's songs. I can say that his songs are one of those that could touch my soul. Comfort me perhaps, revised me of my feeling, and get straight exactly to what i felt. I couldn't deny the fact that Fang Wen Shan's writings are awesome. But i just don't think other's people voice could ever translate the feeling of the lyrics.

2) Jam Hsiao

I saw his spark when he first "pk" the contestant in one of Taiwan famous singing competition "超级星光大道". However, i only felt that he is cool rather than any else. after searching for his background, knowing how he grew, his attitudes, and his songs as time pass, i started fond towards him. just somehow could sense that he is one of the singers that sing their heart out though few of the songs i didn't felt so but most of it yes.

3) Bruno Mars

I don't even know who the hell he is if i never exposed to Jason Chen's songs. To be honest, i am wondering too why i aint have this special admire towards Jason Chen as compared to Bruno Mars. Jason Chen did a cover on "grenade" by Bruno Mars. I feel it is kind of nice, it is then i go and search for his lyrics. i was like wow, nice lyrics and a great cover. lastly, i go and search for the original singer- Bruno Mars and the next thing i know is that i am in kind-of-love-that-milder-than-love with him.

4) Gary Chaw

Frankly speaking, part of the reason that i like Jam Hsiao and Gary Chaw's song are because that one of my friend - Shawn Ng, he can sang so nice in their songs and make me love their songs. that's why i started looking out their songs other than Jay Chou. Gary Chaw, learnt piano without any formal education and purely on his own. His adventure in music industry did much more impact in my liking towards him. someone told him when he first trying to step his foot in Taiwan: you can sing but your face looks ugly, i advise you better get back to where you from - Malaysia, and don't be embarrassing yourself over here. he got hurt but he never give up and keep striving his best, went through tough time of his drunk-and-hit incidents. He shows people who he was, and he changed, keep improving to shows everyone that as long people never give up on him, he will do the same too.

how about your favorite singers? :)