More and more

More and more things in the list.

Sometimes I'll get frustrated of not being able to do it all at once.

I started to see how time can be packed that you seriously have to prioritize one over another. And it is simply pathetic that what you prioritize turns out isn't as great as you expecting. Moody aside.

Planning to posts what learning process of being a camera dummy would likely is, that allow me not to stop moving because i thought i am making no progress which in fact i did, even it was only a subtle one. And also acts like a simple guideline for newbies who thinking of starting photography.

See you soon!

Tension

And just few hours ago I felt the surge of tension as indicated by the intensive heartbeat, only I lay my butt perfectly on the seat, scrolling through the journals.

It is so irony that I hate to burn mid night oil but still the situation is persisting.

At least I feel good this time as compare to other time as I am not pressured by other people,

and the reason I do it is really because I want to do it. Although partially the reason is still caused by time pressure, yet the effect is reducing to a smaller number which I consider within an acceptable level.

And without I even realizing it, I have lived on someone expectation, just like anyone of you.

And I believe i'm still doing it. I can't avoid it just like i can't live without oxygen. but i know there are times where i can just hold my breath, so that i can realize i still can live for quite some time even without it, though eventually i will be feeling suffocated and know how much it meant to me.

PhotoBlogging

I would like to try out with PhotoBlogging but my first attempt failed miserably back to few years ago (don't even remember when it is).

The reason is simple, it is really troublesome and the outcome wasn't good at all.

Now this thought just crossed my mind again, but still i refuse to give it a second try because the urge is not as great as the first attempt. I need something more.

Take up two new hobbies recently, Photography and Badminton.

Let me go through it one by one.

The sole reason I take up photography is simply because I bought one DSLR which was first intended to use it as a VideoCam but the interest for photography spurs immediately once I trying out few shots.

Since then, I use it to photograph people rather than doing video recording.

And what's more exciting is that even though I know that I'm still not ready for covering any event, my friends actually called me up and ask me to help covering their weddings.

I was literally nervous, how can he put his hope on a photographer which has experienced just about a month? (since July 30th, if i'm not mistaken) and thanks god it is finish now, only some post editing still haven't been done, and I am kind of negative about the outcome.

And after one finish, another two more coming, one in September 24-26, another one in December. Really hope that as time passes, I'm becoming more and more skillful.

The core reason that I promised to cover their event is that, most of the photographer if not all told me that this is the fastest way to build up your portfolio which at the same time, speeding up your learning process. And friends are always the best trait to start with.

Okay, that's the wrap for Photography, now is on WHY badminton.

Seriously, i wonder how I been involved into it also.

I supposed it all started after I watched matches of my friend - Kok Wing Soon which eventually won HELP badminton's competition as Champion.

I see the fun in that game, and the mind game in it.

It is not just about to hit the ball and make it in your opponent, instead much mental power is involved in a game, just like any other sport.

Since then, things continue to evolved. I went to play, borrow people racquet, bought a new racquet myself afterward, committed to go once a week and even planning to play twice a week.

Sometimes, I had great fun of myself, with them. At times, i frustrated with my teammates and also myself. Team game is even challenging as compare to single.

Now if I really think back, I guess it all started after the time where i should start my thesis,

all kind of hobbies just came out like that, and rather than facing thesis, I spent considerable time in understanding camera model, mechanism involved, badminton footsteps, racquet model and etc.

Anyhow, I wanted to do good in my thesis too.

Perfectionist, I am and I'm as well competitive.

This two superior characteristics (i consider) had pulling myself for so far and I guess they will still propel me to move faster and further.

Thanks to the one who make me into become what i am now.

CHEERS!

until you do it.

yeah. it's all bullshit unless you really actually start doing it.

no matter how much other tells you, you never really know it until you really get your hand dirty on it.

Guess that is why experience is always better than knowledge.

Concept is merely an idea without texture. no feeling.

Psychology

Friends of mine like to say that it's because you study too much psychology, and that's why you make things complicated, why don't just say it out and make thing simple and nice.

I treasure the beauty of simple but i just can't help and feel sad about the simple association people like to used. i feel, after all, it is not about psychology, and it is not about how much i study and what i'm studying, it is about me. it is my thought and that is my way of communication, why people like to schematize and link my behaviors to things that they don't even familiar with.

although it is simple to understand, as other than psychology, nothing else they can link with and based on the schema they already have - psychology is complicated (which not necessary true bcz it is purely their own schema), which make this cause the best fit of all.

I guess that must be the way i spoke, in some way, offended them which caused them to react in that way. And to conform the typical stereotype, human is complicated, and that's why psychology is complicated too.....

Room of improvement

Yeah... there is still much improvement needed.

and I'm craving for mooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I'm only afraid the moment where I found myself got nothing more to learn, it must be really horrifying but i guess that will never ever happen as learning is never finite.

Safe sense

Instead of posting a status at Facebook, I feel much better to leave my thought here.

Because I feel the one who really cares will not leave crappy comment over here,

the one who will clicks and sees my post is never nobody,

which led to my decision to post some more inner thought over here.

afterall, facebook is juz social network, another reality that most ppl hi and bye over there,

it just doesn't make sense for me to let them know as much as the persons who will view my blog.

You guys have the privileges. thanks god for that.

:)

A...

If I get an A in next semester for any subject, I'm gonna reward myself with a new laptop!

A) few to buy list

1- reflector

2- Speedlite

3- tripod

4- laptop

List of To-do items

A lot of things to do recently, and i feel as time passed, i grew.

I grew to be a much more organized people, and I aware there are still much room for improvement.

Psychology is a powerful course, in that if you really using what they've done research for so far, your life actually much more easy.

But there is one problem with this. Learn theory is easy, applying it is not as easy.

I wonder what is wrong with this. most of the theory is actually pretty easy and even a layman could have been quite understand the kind of causal relation between certain action leads to certain consequences. it is just so weird that no one actually go ahead and implement what they've already found and know.

Tons of research already support and making it a powerful standalone fact, layman or even the future psychologist just doesn't seems to using it for their own sake.

This is a major wastage, we still rely heavily on our own life experiences that impact us the most, rather than believe what the science of social had told us.

The kind of mentality and level of acceptance of the future psychologist should have change first before they wish to have a larger pool of client in future. How can we expect others to follow what we say when we don't even apply and synchronize psychology in our life.

we been given, educated about psychology and yet we still living like all layman do. if that so, we shouldn't have study psychology in the first place.

Guess this kind of awareness will propels my mentality to a new level. incorporating the wise of many into one great master mind and through this powerful creation- the brain, change my life and the others too.

Clear language

Things really will get more crystal clear when you actually put it into words.

thoughts are all around, they're not organized, they can be in any form as long they wish to.

but sentences and essays are different, some thought have to put right before another to make sense out of it.

and because language are thought that in the line form, you know exactly what you should to do first and what you're actually thinking and what thought links to another. thing will then seems perfectly simple and sweet enough for you to make effortless but thoughtful decision that is reasonable.

And I feel language is just too powerful that it actually organize thought. but it only works all the time when it is either in spoken or written form. you may argue that mere thinking could work the same too, but having the "could" word, it means there are times where this method wouldn't work.

Having say all this crap, i'm still individual who prefer to use mind, the fluid kind of thought, that things will get super complicated and messy as well almost make every hair of mine drops due to the over usage of brain juice. I still see the beauty of mind where things could seem perfectly fit to one another, but when it was put into words and sentences, they aren't. That's the beauty of brain, they tolerate any form of incompatibility.

Language can also limit my creativity. my brain works faster than my hand. often i find myself struggling to figure out what i've written down and when i figure out, it was actually the overlapping of two different thoughts that my hand couldn't seem to write down them in time, which is why certain words are skip and words related to next thought are filling in the sequence.

being random again that i suddenly feel like talking about my thesis.

I still haven't start anything at all and i received an email that i required to inform Ms. Winnie the number of participants that i wish to recruit by 15 August, 2011. It was a head shot for me to realize that i have little time left for thesis 1 completion and i have yet figure out what topic i want to do. i even worry and thinking whether i am equipped enough to do my thesis.

and i am now being random again that i am too lazy to complete what this essay is about.

so....

SEE YA!

About me - July 30 in 2011

About me today:

1) I washed car and i don't washed my car rims.

- why is that a matter to be bother about?

-because i never did that to my car ever since i got it.

2) and I realize my car get more and more scratches. feeling pain but nothing i can do about it.

3) been speeding quite a lot recently, a bit impatient, rushing time over the traffic which resulted in faster petrol usage. :(

4) I will tend to avoiding doing must-do things that are more difficult to accomplish in a short time and get myself busy with those unimportant things. which is why my thesis is still delaying.

About basketball:

1) fear can be paralyze you by making you unable to do things that you can usually perform it well.

2) so long did not play and i really doubt about how well can i perform.

3) it was sucks at the beginning but i regain my confident afterwards.

4) feel less guilty as compared to last time when i perform poorly. someone's word is stick into my mind, how can you expect yourself to be perform well when you don't even dare to have first move. This is why people says practice makes perfect, you need more shooting in order to increase your chances of getting points.

5) i wonder whether i'm the one who brought up the culture of clapping hands. i clapped each time they gained points, and slowly i realize more and more people actually clap their hands too. guess everybody need their small way of being compliment by others, which of course including myself, in a slight and indirectly way, i prefer.

6) to stay motivated when you're down is hard, but to be able to do that, it changes a lot of thing. it helps me to get back my pace of playing.

About Boston's restaurant:

1) Once food get people addicted, you can hardly run away it. Now i see the reason for this old saying, to catch a man's heart, you need to first satisfy his stomach. it's pretty true.

2) people willing to wait for one hour just to enjoy good food.

3) the environment is the winning ticket for this restaurant to be so famous, how many restaurant actually have their tables and chairs on roadside? i mean seafood restaurant.

4) you only need one famous dish to catches customer's heart.

5) I guess people simply love to enjoy the moment before the food arriving, they can chit-chat and sit together for a long time with a reasonable reason. :S

And I feel sleepy now. Good night. :)