lack of motivation

wonder where all my motivation went in the midst of studying.

it is unusual for me to felt moments of discouragement to continue reading.

it was so not me but yet it is me. part of me is shatter,

and some part of older me is surfacing.

i have this feeling of disorganize. that a lot of things are not in order.

i feel so frustrated when things did not come in my way.

and as for before, i choose to kept it under my boundary.

now the limit seems downgraded, i gave in to emotion so easily,

like i'm the slave and it is the emperor that i have to obey and listen to.

i forget long time the song listen to your heart.

how long i haven't listen to my own heart.

how long i didn't gave time for myself.

is the shortening-boundary has any relationship with DotA?

that i don't have the right occasion to get loose myself.

i wonder and i ponder.

yet no solutions seem to emerge.

merging myself in the book world yet i am distracting by my emotion.

i wonder what happen to me.

is it a vicious cycle that i have to feel depress for every March-to-come.

or simply, life events like to put people down.

or simply, i've been living too good that i don't even feel i deserved to,

and so i feel guilty, and so i wish to be push but limits seem overwhelming.

hi, the shattered pieces.

when are you going to glue yourself.

glue yourself back to your never-got-to-be-the-same originality.