Be in-group.

I am shitting myself, from being out-group to in-group.

And yeah, I never feel better than this.

What is the group I referring to?

stop the guess, it's basketball.

I've been playing basketball since late in form 4 till now.

Although it is not a constant effort-there is some "break time" in between,

it is still a activity that I devoted much of my time.

And there is some big transition in the way I play the games,

it changed accordingly with the players I mixed to.

At first, I am fond to run.

Yeah, run!

Not shooting, ball controlling, or rebounding, but rather just run.

When you are someone who not "pro" in either things,

your only left option is to run.

As a means of distracting opponents,

to the ball passed to you and immediately you pass to someone else,

because you are worry.

Worry that the ball will gone if it's under your control.

Afterward, I found a "talent" in me.

I put quotation marks is because, I not sure either if it is a talent so called.

Or merely anyone else can do it.

My hand is fast, in term of stealing ball.

I found this after told by my teammates.

They said, I am good at it.

With the praises surround, there is this kind of feeling

- at least I got some "superpower", I can do something in this group.

I am not otherwise someone who disabled.

I started to really work hard on it.

I focus on stealing ball, enjoying in guarding the opponents.

Because every successful stealing added another proud smile on my face.

It excites me much like I've beat the opponents down.

I shoot ball, with two hands exert almost equal strength on the ball, previously.

it entered, surprisingly.

it is no more a matter of chance.

Using "feeling" to shoot the ball, my accuracy was among the best, in my group.

This was also told by them, of course, and soon enough, I fell in love doing it too.

I became a point-shooter from there on, giving my best shot one after another.

Few days right before our inter-school competition when I am in form 5.

I suffered dengue and later in early form 6, I happened to have motor accident.

Driven a motorbike, I banged someone, who also on the bike.

the funniest thing is that, he stepped another few steps forward while waiting to come out from the junction, and he did that once he saw me moving so f*king fast from the straight road.

that's few stepped is the main cause for this "bang" to happen and it seems he did that on purpose.

that's side topic, just ignored.

after dengue incident and accident, the feeling "lost".

I don't know why, but the accident did cause my left hand wrist "out of its usual position".

doctors did put it back, saying my hands would have unequal length if they continue to grow

with the left hand happens to be shorter.

I shocked after heard that, but don't worry, it look about the same now.

And I don't think I will grow any further, in terms of physical appearance, if any, beards and maturity (but i don't think I have beards either, lol). :P

my shooting accuracy fell significantly, I hate that.

To have something I proud of, been taken away.

Sadness, of course,

for someone who are so in love with basketball at that moment.

Another shift take places.

I trained myself on ball controlling.

On lay-up, one-two-step then get the ball in.

Focus on crossover the opponents, focus on searching over YouTube for cool move,

for instance, "And1".

I rather solo, take control of the ball, than pass it to another person.

Selfish? Perhaps.

But again, I enjoy doing it.

To used all those move that myself considered "cool".

I am not sure whether if was that case in fact.

I just feel self-esteem raised to be able to crossover and get the ball in myself.

I sense isolation, from my teammates.

Slowly, with this group of friends,

a group that I don't normally play with.

I saw something different.

They seem to happier than me.

In the sense that they are enjoying the game more than I do.

At least, they can be able to discuss the game after it ends.

What they did wrong, and how it could be better.

They strongly emphasize team spirit, team work - that game should be done in a group effort.

Existence of me in their team appeared as though two totally different entities in clash.

Things change today,

another transition happened.

I love the concept, that it is only consider a game if teamwork serves as the base.

I learn, and still learning.

But slowly, from out-group, I somehow "sneak" in to be in-group.

How?

By learn the way they play,

by understand what role should be taken when each circumstances arise.

I am unofficially their group, and play like how they play.

And wow, yesterday was the day I felt the most we cooperate well.

The feeling of being understood is really an excitement.

He knows what you going to do, and vice versa, you know what is on their mind too!

And it is much energy-conserved in the sense that you passed the ball around and

you do not need to run around, each person have their role to play with.

Which at the same time, when you do it well, in fast speed mode and smooth,

it work effectively on confusing the opponents and the whole process is even cooler.

I'm loving it.

Bye.