Hate Monday, Pasar Malam, Cendol, Kueh Teow

It was Monday, on 08/03/10.
The next day I went back to Sri Sinar, my current rented house, from Klang.

There is pasar malam in Klang, near my house, on every Monday.
Likewise, same thing happens near my rented double storey house.

It was just like any other ordinary day with a sun rise in the morning.
It was 4-5 pm, it was my individual presentation, it was a heavy rain afterward.
Maybe you can see that I can linking everything together, so hardly, so I can't help to do so.
The moment I felt so relieve that I've done my presentation,
is about the same moment he went away.

It was rain, as I mentioned, a heavy one.
Even the Sky God did hinted me.
Crying His hearts out, but it was a silly me, that found exactly no clue from it.
Something might have change,
if I would to make a call.
A random call?
Ignored and don't try to console me.
You and me know well that it don't help, at least for now.

It was the Cendol, the last food that he ate before he went upstair.
It was the Kueh Teow, the food that I ate before I knew this breaking news.
It was all, both of them, bought from pasar malam.
The unlucky foods? Perhaps.
It automatic register into my mind,
I knew it when I went through. Can't help to think about it.
Glad in some sense that at least I realized, cause I learned it before.
That when the departure of your beloved one,
you will find connection of anything, just everything.
Either to blame, or to find if anything that you could have done to change the fact.
To give you a sense of taking back the control of the uncontrollable.
I smelt my hands with bloods, sometimes.
With blood stained that I can't get rid of, that I can't do anything to reverse the cruel reality.
Just like a doctor that tried his best, engaged in emergency save-back, with blood all over his body, hands, or even face. But failed in the end.
No! It wasn't the same.
At least he did something.
But I done none.
Not even a "come-back" calling, that people always did when their beloved is in coma
or the edge of near-death.

It is 2.00am now.
Life goes on.
Can I still being childish?
Spending my "childhood" without have to worry for my future.

I had promised.
It will be a negative respond for my question.