neutral

not much excitation and satisfaction gained after completed one of the assignment.

I wonder why.

I wonder why too that i am wondering so much.

reflect back to my previous assignments, although having hectic time where candles have to light up in the middle of the night, i still feel sense of achievement.

that i've done something, that i've "complete" something.

this time, the same feeling did not come back.

why it chose to alienated from me, i don't know.

this time around, i feel empty.

a feeling that i did not gain anything worth to cherish for the completion moment.

i even doubt about my ability that i've done something like that.

not really me, but we.

various factors took place of course.

i did not take into consideration about covariates, and any hidden extraneous variables or whatsoever.

i feel like i am doing the old same stuff, with performance that significantly lower than previous attempt.

sigh. is the subjective self-esteem take-down or it is truly happening in this way.

people say that i am thinking too much, i don't think so,

and when i don't think so, that's the reason they think i am thinking too much.

just as if when they think i am thinking too much, they don't think as much as i do.

and if they were to think as much as i do, then by default, i aint thinking much as compared to any other person.

i am simply thinking. like what you and me are doing, all this while.

life bored. and that is why it is my interest to be interested in interesting.

interestingly bored.