part of me - competitive

to my surprise, i realize that i'm highly competitive.

I would have know it long time ago, but i thought i was having it only mild.

i get highly motivated when i knew that i am being challenged

or at least, i make virtual challenge by comparing myself with others.

and of course, the result is out of my expectation - something that i can never imagined i would have done it.

so, i wonder whether it is a good thing or not.

my counselor said it was a good one.

it led me to a highly focus state, performed something out of ordinary.

it push me further in another sense.

in certain circumstances, i can sense the competitive nature in me burning hot.

of course, i get very excited. i smelt life.

but it doesn't seems that this nature serves me right when it relate others.

there are people out there just don't like this kinda thingy.

comparing and comparing.

and like most this people out there, i was once like them.

hated my father comparing myself to his friend's daughter.

part of the reason i am so discourage is that, it seems impossible to outrun her.

but the matter of fact is, i did in the end.

it is so funny that something i once hate, is now something i treasure.

i see the good thing in it.

and according to my counselor, rather that it is a weakness, i should view it as a strength.

it is what constitute ME, a part of me.

anything goes to extreme, you and me absolutely know that it will went wrong with no doubt.

and of course i should give credit to my dad that he had implant this on me long time ago.

whether aware or unconscious, it had now live in/with me,

from the past, living in the present, and carry to the future.

i am glad that i have a wonderful gift from you. thank you once again.