aint giving out the best of mine

I realized... erm... in actual fact, I'm always conscious about this - not giving out the best of mine,
in every single thing I think.

In study, in games, in my life, to name a few... ahem, I guess that is almost everything.

I was shocked to received a call from HELP psychology department,
to inform me for attending English for Psychology.

I was like - WTF!
4D also never kena, but I kena this.
I really felt that I step on shit at that particular moment.
Back to the cause for this consequence - I never serious for my study.
That's the reason I still having bad grammar, bad command of English.

However, I doubt how one subject could really help to improve.
A subject that just newly establish, I do question for their effectiveness.
Have a feeling like I've became one of their guinea pig, that use to test out their product.
to make the matter worst, I have to pay RM1500 for it!
so not fair!
aren't they should be paying me since they wanted to try their "product"?
or it should be FOC for one semester to checks for its effectiveness or validity.

blame for my bad performance~
hope there are ways to "repel" this subject. ~.~