19 December 2009

19 December 2009
1.06 a.m.

I suffered migraine throughout the whole day, today. I can’t found any reason behind. But Cheryl said, it was due to my lateness to bed. It could be true as this whole week; I really couldn’t manage to get a good night sleep neither a nap. Hate migraine as it is only one side of my head is arching. As all things being equal, I think that is why I found myself really irritated with the “one side” effect.

Be a part of helpers in preparation for the incoming event- Educare in this afternoon. Prior to this, we have our lunch with “Tauge Chicken Rice”. If I am not mistaken, this is the food that everyone thumbs up about in Ipoh. I asked someone before who stay in Ipoh whether this particular Chicken Rice Stall have the “ko li”-capability to fight those in Ipoh. Out of expectation, he said no way, and from his expression, I could tell that he really meant it, in a deep sense. It sounds really tempting now. As I found this stall is so far the best chicken rice I could found in K.L. (I am only compare with others whom in K.L.), but he said there is absolutely no chance for that stall to stay on in Ipoh, it really surprising me as well anticipating. Maybe I have not try out the hidden gems that in somewhere. But this stall’s quality is somehow qualified as above the average for me.

A bit out of topic already, this is not really the thing that I wanted to share. I think I had mentioned in the previous post that I wanted to stop eat meat as it is somehow a sinful act for me. What happened is that, I still enjoyed the meat and even never let go the last piece of it that stick with the bone (in fact, this is the best part for the whole meat). How shameless and contradict it is, to actually talking big and loud shared about stop killing animals for hunger purpose, yet I am the one who sitting there biting vigorously. And the worst part is that, I would sometimes justified my action saying that, since they are dead, I should fully utilized their worth now by keep the plate clean and clear. I am cruelest like no one else.

Had a night plan in which it is totally unplanned. It was a last minute decision. Even after my girlfriend had stepped out from the house and driving towards the destination. What is going on? She is going to her or our ex lecturer who invite her (Yup, only her and others as well, but I am not in the invitation list. Not to blame him, but myself since I am always the invisible man in the class) for Christmas’s party. I am not going (You sure know why la- ToT- I am not invited) and because of the morning’s preparation (I helped her out so, I am just around K.L.), I am not in hometown but Kuala Lumpur. Was really feeling nothing when after she left, it is only when second thought came in thinking that how about her when later she went back in the night? She is not familiar with the environment and it was night! Moreover, she just told me yesterday that she has “split of light” – San Guang (tak tahu the correct words in English) which she somehow found it out when she saw there is one car with 3 lights on. Sweat… One minute after she left, I called her and asked her whether she wanted me to follow. She said don’t know. Since the time is still ticking and she is definitely late for the party, I make up my mind and say yes on her behalf.

We went to the nearest store to get the Christmas gift and bad thing always happen when you in rush. The price for the gift is calculated much higher compared with the price tag shown around the items we first get. I do not realize in the first place and seriously, if Cheryl never came in and asked about it, I would just grab the item and get back in car. We questioned this with the cashier, and the supervisor came after a long wait (every second is precious for us). She settled the issue within few minutes. But I wanted another item instead of the first one. So, the cashier once again scans the item. And it happens again!

Was really wants to give up buying as we have to wait for the supervisor to come again. But I am just too shy to do that. Fortunately, the process is much faster this time. Did I have any comments for this? Yes! First, the cashier will try to push to problem to someone else, she claimed: “I also don’t know, I only scan then the price came out, so I just receive money.” Even when the supervisor came, she is trying to take another staff that just beside to as a scapegoat. Eventually, the guy is not going to eat the “shit”, and fight back in a nonaggressive way. Clearly seen, it is somehow the responsibility of the supervisor. Another lesson is that, human always “shy” to admit their own mistake. Nonetheless, no one is willing to “jiak sai- eat the shit”.
The story continued. We reach our lecturer’s house (Mr.P) and we receive warm welcomed by him. Cheryl told me that, she can see that Mr.P is definitely shock for my existence to his party but I never seem to saw and sense that. Does this prove that women are definitely more empathy than men? She saw, and she further explained why I am there. Quite an awkward moment but I can tell that, Mr.P never does mind for it. Here goes my night plan in his house till the end of that day. What kind of experiences I had on that night? A lot…

As I told, he is a lecturer, and he never forgets his job even in his leisure. He lecturing a lot even we are now no longer his students. It might be a way to promoting himself or he is just too sticks with job ethics. But I think it is simply because that our relationship with him is solely based between lecturer-student, and therefore, this is what the lecturer should do. That is -to give lecture and guidance for his dearest students. One more thing which I want to stress on is that, conformity is really playing a great part in our life.

There is caroling in his house. And while the Christian friends are praying (in which everyone will slightly bend their head down with eyes closed), I am in dilemma on whether to follow or otherwise. First, I did not. Because when it happened, I look for cue from other who is not a Christian. Even if there is only one people who standing there with eyes opened, I had my eyes opened as well. It did not happen when the second pray. I look no one is doing it, as my view are totally block somehow. And really somehow, I just closed my eyes and bend my head down. I am just too shy to stand against the group norm. Wondered what is in their mind for people who are against the norm. Are they rigid and firm in their religious belief? Or there is other reason for that?

I guess I had written really long post this time. It is much longer than the essay question that I answered in my finals. Grateful is that, I really felt a sense of accomplishment. As I always hope myself can stick to writing (I know I am typing now, but what I mean is in relate with words), and I did it pretty well this time. Not the quality of this post but the effort that I had put in.
Night. 1.38am 20 December 2009. I done it in two days as I am really feeling sleepy in the first day. Haha.